Rome was not Built in a Day

Easter Sunday in Rome. We resurrected ourselves and rolled away the stone from a vino rosso hangover to enter the arena floor at the Colosseum. We woke up at 9 and had timed tickets for 11, so the morning was rough. We threw on some clothes and went down to breakfast. I put a few things on my plate and forced them down. I put back the yogurt I took. I didn’t want it and I didn’t want to waste it. I pounded a cappuccino. The servers were probably like WTF because we only stayed there for like 5 minutes. As soon as we got back to the room Amanda paid her penance to the porcelain god. I checked the weather and tried to figure out what to wear. Tick tick tick. It was almost almost 1030.  At one point I sat down on the sofa and took my sneakers off and said, “We’re not gonna fucking make it!” Every other time slot for the week was sold out, so we had no choice. Go now. This is no time to pull a Richie Tannenbaum. 

 We left the room at 1035. Obviously there was millions of people there. We bobbed and weaved through the crowds. Amanda asked one guy with a tourist information badge for directions. He told her “last tent that way.” Sprinted over there. Waited in line. Got to the front. WRONG LINE! 1053. Lady told us that we had to go to the other side of the Colosseum.  Find the correct line at 1057 and there were only 4 people in it. A guy with a French accent checked our ticket and gave us stickers to put on our chests. Fortuna! 

I always appreciated going through the stairwell at Fenway Park and then popping out and seeing the pristine playing field for the first time. I still appreciate that first look moment. It’s always stunning. Entering the arena floor of the Colosseum felt epic. I pulled out my phone and recorded it. Opportunity comes once in a lifetime. The moment you own it, you better never let it go, you only get one shot, do not miss your chance.  

2000 years ago, Rome was the biggest city in the world, and the Colosseum was, and still may be, the most iconic building in the world. The Colosseum was an engineering marvel, and the blueprint for stadiums around the world today. Stadiums really haven’t changed that much since and the Colosseum even had a dome, or covering curtains. We know that the crowds had food like in our arenas today because the Colosseum’s sewers have been excavated. Spectators ate nuts and fruit. Figs, peaches, grapes. Imagine eating grapes at a Celtics, Bruins, or Patriots game?! Nah, we prefer to eat foods that make us sick. There is also evidence of small, portable grills that allowed them to cook chicken, goat, and seafood. The Romans were tailgating two millennia ago! 

The order of events on a typical day in the Colosseum began with fights or hunts with beasts, like lions, bears, Panthers, or ostriches, then at high noon criminals or prisoners of war may have been executed, and finally gladiator fights; the most entertaining part of the day or the main event. Gladiators definitely died in the Colosseum, not as often as you think though, but this production was primarily for entertainment, so there was an element of pro wrestling, or rodeos, and fights were often choreographed, or orchestrated to ensure entertainment was provided. Gladiators were performers and showmen. I’m sure there were characters that people came to know like Hulk Hogan, the Iron Sheik, and The Rock. And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so! 

There’s several ticket options for Colosseum. General admission, let’s call it, upper levels, underground. Underground might have been cool, but tickets are so hard to get. I wanted to be in the arena. Our tickets said 20 minutes was the time limit. The arena floor is a very small area, literally just what it sounds like. We saw the underground levels and one of the elevators where they used to bring animals up. We snapped some photos, wandered around, and took it in. We stayed in there for 17 minutes.

We went to the pizza restaurant across the street from our hotel for lunch. We were the only ones there and we demolished the pizza in record time. 

We stopped for Aperol spritzes near the basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore and enjoyed the evening. The weather has been great. I was wearing a light sweatshirt, but it was too hot so I was just wearing a t- shirt around 6 pm. 

Amanda found another gem of a restaurant for dinner while we were sitting. We started walking that direction. I stopped to buy a few Michelangelo penis magnets and in the shop we also spotted a hot priests 2026 calendar that I bought for my sister, who’s a nun. They also had Michelangelo penis boxers and aprons.

The restaurant was outstanding. The waiter was enormously helpful too. We had to try some Roman appetizers, so we got zucchini flowers and an artichoke. The zucchini flowers were fried and filled with a mix of ricotta and anchovies. The artichoke had a creamy sauce. I couldn’t believe how delicious both were. I used bread to mop up the artichoke sauce. The Italians call this scarpetta. 

For dinner Amanda had rigatoni grecia and I just wanted more artichoke so I ordered the artichoke lasagna. Alessandro, the bartender at the hotel, had said that he would be having lasagna for Easter, so I thought it was a good idea to do that as well. Wonderful dinner. Amanda put a slice of bread in her bag because we were out of our stash of little bags of sour patch kids and I always like to have something handy if I get low blood sugar.

For the rest of the evening we decided to explore Rome and see what the Trevi Fountain and Spanish Steps look like at night. 

Some people may have been eating Easter dinner, but there was no stopping the crowds. It’s Rome, one of the most visited cities in the world - it’s always going to be busy. The closer you get to the popular sites the thicker the crowds get. I’m not breaking any news here, but we must be good in crowds because we went right up and got great photos. We didn’t throw any coins in. 

Amanda glanced at a restaurant menu right near the Trevi and the prices were double to triple what we had just paid. If you want to eat near the Trevi, you’re gonna pay for it. Overall though, I’m finding the price is very reasonable in Rome.

On the way to the Spanish Steps we stopped for gelato. I got a cone with mixed berry and pistachio, obviously. Pistachio is my favorite. Amanda got strawberry and lemon. There’s huge lines at the places by the Trevi so we just walked a few blocks away and it was empty and there’s no line. When we were sitting there eating a gelato, I saw a woman filling cannolis, and I saw that one of the fillings was pistachio and had chopped pistachio on the ends. I had to try them so I went up to her and asked for one. Mama Mia! 

The Spanish Steps looked lovely at night and decorated with flowers. We both decided that we needed to experience the water in the fountain. I said to Amanda, “Get in there!” She did. My turn. My balance had been a bit off since I had a stroke during my lung transplant in 2018, so as I’m walking towards it thinking, shit, I'm gonna fall right in this thing and be soaked. I didn’t fall in though and it was fun. 

Of course we had to climb the steps, so that was our next order of business. We stopped about halfway or so up and I took a time lapse video. Then we went up to the top and I’ll never forget what happened up there.

At the top, we were looking down, just taking it in and enjoying the time. I heard music playing and I thought it was the guy next to me. I listened, it was the guy next to me and he was playing Frank Sinatra’s My Way. I didn’t look because I didn’t want to give away anything. Number one, I didn’t really want him to know that I was vibing to it. Number two, I didn’t wanna give any indication that I was planning to start singing along to it loudly. I was just waiting for the right part. I knew the lyrics because it’s a famous song and I listen to Frank Sinatra a lot more than you think. I was figuring the guy has got to be playing on his phone or maybe he has a small boombox. I didn’t know cause I never looked, so who knew what I was getting myself into. 

I’m thinking. Wait. Wait for it. Then I belted out: 

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all, and I stood tall

And did it my way! 

Then he starts going apeshit and says, “Where are you from? I’m from Brighton.”

I said, “No way! I grew up in Watertown.”

He goes, “I fucking knew it when you started singing!”

Then he started getting weird because he was wicked wasted. He said something about his dick falling off and Amanda quickly retorted “well, you can just buy a new one - they’re selling them at all the gift shops”

If Amanda hadn’t been so quick and witty, I think I might’ve thrown him down the Spanish steps. I guided the conversation back to more civilized talk and found out that he had just been in Dublin and I told him that we go to Ireland just about every year. He said, get this, his uncle picked them up from Dublin airport. His girlfriend was there, but she seemed to be trying to sneak away out of embarrassment. He said his uncle delivers Guinness to pubs and to get wherever they were going they did the guy's route with him and that’s how they got a tour of Dublin. The girlfriend dragged him away saying their Uber was there and that was the end of that. I don’t think I’ll forget my visit to the Spanish Steps.